Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Untitled

Words; they can be bent, changed, chanted, communicated, copied, discovered, drawn, dreamt, echoed, exchanged, incorrectly used, interpreted, invented, jotted down, laughed at, leaked, magnified, mimicked, misinterpreted, misspelled, organised, painted, passed around, plagiarised, preached, printed, programmed, rapped, read, repeated, reversed, rotated, said, scanned, screamed, screeched, scribbled, searched, shouted, spelt, spoken, spray painted, strung together, sung, swapped, thought up, thrown around, transferred, translated, twisted, used, whispered and written. They’re what I’m using right now to write this blog entry. They are our most common form of communication and are taken for granted by most of the world’s population. What would we do without these so-called words?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Whose blog is it anyway?

In a world dominated by the internet and the ever-increasing rise of technology, we are at our most vulnerable ever as a species. The ability to now share our most intimate details with almost anyone in the world begs the question: do you actually want everyone in the world to know that you're going to Tom's house on Saturday? What if you gave slightly more detail than that and some 67 year old man was bored and wanted something to do on the weekend? With the details you've given would he be able to find Tom's house too? Do you want a total stranger to join in?

What about that 17 year old girl you met on Bebo who you've now got on your MSN contacts? You guys are really good friends and chances are you're going to want to meet up soon? She even lives in the same city as you. How do you know she's really the person she says she is? Well, you don't do you? The answer is most likely no. The threat I'm talking about is real. People actually go missing and much, much worse, all because they put slightly too many personal details on the internet.

Is it self-love or the need to seek attention that drives people to do this? Is it simply a desire to connect with more people and expand one's knowledge of the world? The world is moving faster and faster towards the idea of a 'global village': a world where everyone is linked to everyone and all borders simply fade away. Doesn't this idea go against the very fundamentals of humanity? Once everyone is linked and can access everything at the touch of a button, is there even a need to live anymore? What further progress can we make from then on? The old system worked just fine in case you forgot so I don't see how we are actually making progress.

You probably think I'm going off on a tangent, but actually it all links up. You see as we become more connected, we also slowly lose our sense of individuality, originality and privacy that we once took for granted. We simply become another robot, connected to the system. In a desperate attempt to regain ourselves we publish what little we have on the internet to try and set us apart. This may not be the case for everyone, but for so many it is and it will only get worse as we march forward in the name of progress.

The majority of teenagers will say that they simply put their details up for their friends, but surely if someone is your friend they would already know most of those things about you? The truth is that whether you like it or not, you're actually doing it in case someone you don't know comes across your page and becomes your friend due to what you've written about yourself. Why else would you write about what type of person you are or what you're looking for in a boyfriend?

Now don't go overboard and delete every web page that mentions anything about you, but just be more careful in future when you choose what to publish online. If you can, simply remain anonymous. I mean do you even know who I am? Some people do know, but unless you do, what more do you know other than the fact that my nickname is Jono and that I just turned seventeen? Not much. And let's keep it that way.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Seven Vertically Challenged Males

A story of love, loss and copious amounts of growth hormones

Once upon a time, in a land not very far from Hollywood, lived seven men who all had something in common. No, they were not queer, but close enough. They were all extraordinarily short and this, as I’m sure you’ve already realised, is more than just a tragedy. Everyone thought they were kids and these poor men were being deprived of the respect they deserved. The situation was unacceptable, and required desperate measures. And by desperate measures, I mean illegal amounts of badger growth hormones. Why badger you may ask? Well, because I say so. And no one questions the narrator.

The illegal substances were ordered and arrived in a glass coffin seven days later. The growth hormones were consumed and they waited for days, but nothing happened. Rude words were used and temper tantrums were thrown, but even this didn’t help. Fortunately, large amounts of alcohol were found nearby and as you may know, alcohol solves all problems. That is, until the next morning. That’s when your problems only get worse. The dwarves were now angrier than ever and it turns out the growth hormones had actually changed all their personalities. Some were always happy and some were always sad. One was always sleepy and another was suicidal at times. This caused even more confusion and now they had to seek help elsewhere.

After many further months of searching they were given the contact details of a certain evil queen. Apparently she had the ability to satisfy any of your wishes, as long as you paid her well. They all agreed that this was their last hope and went over to her castle one day. They explained their problems to her and she said that she would be happy to help them on one condition. The condition was; well, unfortunately we will never know, but we do know this much: following their meeting with the queen, the dwarves have never had their wish satisfied but it looks as though they are doing just fine. It seems being mistaken for a kid does have its advantages.

You may be thinking to yourself, where does the love bit come in? Well, it doesn’t come just yet. That bits being saved for the sequel. Apparently it’s coming to cinemas next summer. I just stuck it in the subtitle because it sounds good and might make you read on.

Seventeen

Yes! As of Friday I am officially seventeen years of age and as of Saturday I also possess a Learner’s Licence. Pretty sweet huh? Damn straight it is, and soon I shall also have a job (You know what that means). Life here in New Zealand is turning out pretty good so far I must say. Now all I need is my own car and I’ve got it made...

Sunday, March 9, 2008

How long did you say a giraffe's tongue was?

Here I sit; staring at a laptop screen. The stark contrast of the dark screen and the bright sunlight reflected by the concrete driveway are beginning to strain my eyes. It’s a Sunday afternoon and that can only mean one thing. Monday is fast approaching and as always I’m not even close to ready. There’s homework to be done, musical instruments to be practised before the next lesson and blog entries to be done. Wait... Did I just say blog entries? Now that’s a good idea! Why don’t I simply write about what I see at this exact moment and use it as a blog entry! It sure makes my life a lot easier and will give me something to write about.

So what do I see? Well, I see a desk covered in school books, sheet music, forms to be filled out and various items of stationery. On my right I see a half eaten packet of salt and vinegar crinkle cut chips, a flash drive and a calculator. On my left I see a mobile phone, and iPod that happens to be connected to my head via a pair of earphones, a notebook mouse, a glasses case and a pair of glasses that are folded on a book I borrowed from the library more than two weeks ago. Yes, that means it should have been brought back a while ago.

That’s just what I see on my desk. I could also tell you what I see in my room, or even throughout the whole house. Do you need to know what I see though? Probably not, but if you’re reading this it means you probably wouldn’t mind hearing. Am I going to tell you? No, because if I did, I wouldn’t be able to write about it in a future entry. You see, it’s all about getting people to come back to your blog. Pouring out your life story in one entry will make for a good read; but once you’ve done that, you won’t have a lot to write about. People will lose interest and your blog will join about 4 million other blogs that almost no one reads. What I’m writing is not an advertising ploy intended to entice you to visit my page daily, but rather a favour you could do for me by coming back every now and then. Who knows? You might just find something that does interest you. Unfortunately I’m getting a bit hungry and those chips look awfully good, so this will have to be it for today. Oh, and apparently a giraffe’s tongue is 53cm long. It says so on the back of the chips packet.

Monday, March 3, 2008

A is for Apple, B is for Blog..

Blog? Sounds a lot like some extra-terrestrial creature from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". After looking it up on Wikipedia I believe it refers to a kind of 'e-diary', something which has been around for over 10 years now. As for what I'm going to use it for, well, everything from everyday experiences, to my deepest speculations of life and everything it holds. Anything goes really, so feel free to comment. I'd appreciate it if you did. Constructive criticism is never a bad thing.